Reducing pressure on your family

After a death, people are tired, emotional, and suggestible.

If you leave ambiguity, you create pressure. Not just sadness, pressure.

Decide the big things now

• Who should be executor
• How simple or ceremonial you want a funeral to be
• What budget, if any, should be used
• What you want done with sentimental items

Say what matters, not what sounds nice

Short sentences beat poetry here.

• Keep it simple if money is tight
• Do not go into debt for a funeral
• Delay decisions if family pressure appears

Clarity is kindness

Clear preferences reduce guilt.

They also reduce the chance of someone taking advantage when people are vulnerable.

One warning

Do not try to control the living from beyond the grave.

Preferences should remove pressure, not create a second conflict.